


The Curious Case of the Perfect Breakfast

by christinefromsherwood



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, M/M, OR IS IT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:29:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27281962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christinefromsherwood/pseuds/christinefromsherwood
Summary: It was a dark and stormy morning and as he lay in bed, listening to James rummaging in his kitchen, Q was absolutely certain of three things. First, his foul mood was not going abate even after he had some tea. Second, James Bond was not human. And third, Q was in love with the terrible, insufferable, thoughtful prick.
Relationships: James Bond/Q
Comments: 32
Kudos: 114
Collections: MI6 Cafe Collections, Sp00qy





	The Curious Case of the Perfect Breakfast

**Author's Note:**

> written for the MI6 Cafe Monthly Challenge: Occult October
> 
> I hope you enjoy this.  
> And I do not apologize for the Twilight references, not even a little bit.
> 
> Thanks be to Souffle for give this a betareading look. :)

It was a dark and stormy morning and as he lay in bed, listening to James rummaging in his kitchen, Q was absolutely certain of three things. First, his foul mood was not going abate even after he had some tea. Second, James Bond was not human. And third, Q was in love with the terrible, insufferable, thoughtful prick.

It all started three weeks ago when James returned from a mission dead tired and fell asleep on top of Q before they’d even finished a proper greeting. Q just covered him up with a blanket and planned for the morning when _he_ could be the one to bring James breakfast in bed for a change. 

Only then when the morning came and Q forced his eyes open, much less pleased with his plan but still determined, he found his customary cup of Earl Grey waiting for him on his bedside table along with an orange marmalade toast. Because once again, James had got up before him and made him breakfast. And once again, he’d managed to somehow time it so perfectly both beverage and toast were at the ideal temperature. 

That first morning, however, Q had suppressed the slight pang of disappointment and drank his tea gratefully while deciding he’d simply have to surprise James the next day. 

But as time went on, day after day, James was always up before him, always with his favourite breakfast ready. It didn’t matter if Q set his alarm clock for 7, for 6, for 5 am, James was always earlier. 

And that was when Q got truly annoyed. He should be able to do nice things for his boyfriend, too! It wasn’t fair that James wouldn’t let him. Building him gadgets just didn’t count; that was for work. And there was no way Q could manage a satisfactory, surprise dinner; breakfast foods were about the one thing he could reliably make. It simply wasn’t fair. 

It didn’t take long for Q to realise that not only was it not fair, it was also _uncanny_. There was simply no other way to describe James Bond’s behaviour than supernatural, no other way to explain it. 

No one human could get up at 4 in the morning, go through a ridiculously rigorous gym routine and then miraculously conjure up the perfect cup of tea paired with a perfectly toasted toast to be ready at 4:45, which was the earliest Q had timed his alarm in his ever increasing desperation.

No one human could then go through their day energetically and happily until 10pm. Ready to rinse and repeat the following day.

It just wasn’t possible.

James Bond was a vampire. 

Or a witch, or a demon.

Or some other kind of supernatural creature that didn’t need sleep and had an uncanny ability to attract and sexually satisfy young partners. 

Q bit into his toast grumpily. Sure, last night was lovely and Q definitely wasn’t complaining. But surely, he--as James’s partner of more than six months--deserved the courtesy of being allowed to make his supernatural boyfriend breakfast! Q didn’t even mind not being told about James’s true nature. He understood that that was how it went. In all literature, from young adult novels to gothic horror, the revelation was a sensitive process that was inadvisable to rush. 

Now some, like Moneypenny, might say that to jump from “my boyfriend is always up before me” to “my boyfriend is a vampire” was a bit of a stretch. They might even advise their friend to “take some time off work because it’s clearly taking a toll on you if you’re seriously considering the existence of vampires as an explanation for Bond’s insomnia”. But Q knew better. 

“I know what you are,” he mumbled through a mouth full of sticky marmalade when James appeared in the doorway with his own cup of tea. ( _If it really was tea._ )

“Sorry?”

Q swallowed. “You’re not human.” 

Blinking, James paused in his stride before continuing up to Q and leaning down for a kiss. 

“Good morning to you, too, darling.”

“Yes, yes, good morning.” Q caught hold of James’s shirt and pulled him down for another kiss. He sighed when James brushed his fingertips against the lovebite on Q’s neck.

When they pulled away, James’s cup was still full and not a drop of the dark liquid inside had spilled on Q’s sheets. 

“Ha!” 

James blinked and moved himself and the cup away slightly when Q began pointing.

“See! This is proof!”

Sitting down next to him, James eyed him warily. 

“Proof of what exactly?”

Throwing one leg over him to better reach for his tea, Q grasped the cooling cup and, still pressed against James, took a sip.

“That you’re a vampire,” he said. “Superhuman reflexes.” Q patted James’s pec and took another sip. “And it’s fine. Don’t worry. I won’t pry. I just need you to let me make you breakfast sometimes. It’s only fair.”

James huffed out a laugh, relaxing his shoulders. 

“So you think I’m a vampire--”

“--or some other supernatural creature--”

“--or some other supernatural creature because I get up before you?”

“Yes, among other things.” The other things being the temperature of the breakfast and James’s unnatural stamina and allure, but those were aces Q was intending to keep up his sleeve for the time being.

He leaned into the kiss James pressed against the side of his head. 

“Darling-” James’s voice rumbled pleasantly through his side- “it’s because you snore.” 

“What?! No, I don’t!” 

“Oh yes, you do. Terribly. Especially towards the morning.”

Q shook his head. Such lies! “You’re just saying that to throw me off the scent.” 

“Well, the cats can corroborate. Why do you think they always demand to be let out in the middle of the night?”

“Oh.” Q blinked, stumped. Settling back into his position against James, he took a hasty sip of tea to give himself some time. 

Because the cats did make a lot of noise at night wanting to get out of the bedroom. That was true. That was a fact he couldn’t dispute. 

But he wasn’t the only one with indisputable facts stacked against him!

“Alright then,” he mused. “It is possible that I _might_ snore a little--”

“A lot.”

“A _little_ , but,” he paused for effect, “how do you explain the constant, perfect temperature of the tea and toast?”

Instead of answering this accusation, James ducked his head and pressed a kiss against the side of his neck. Now, Q was aware it was just possible that he was stalling for time, but as it felt quite lovely, he was inclined to give James the benefit of the doubt. 

He shifted up on the bed to give him better access, and didn’t let the fact that James had somehow managed to catch his tea cup and put it on the night stand distract him from running his fingers through James’s hair and teasing his earlobes.

Then James pulled back, and Q suddenly found himself on the receiving end of such a warm, happy look, he had to look away.

“Well, my mad genius.” James nudged his chin up. “To answer your question, it’s because while I am _not_ a vampire--because vampires don’t exist--I am a werewolf and I can hear when you start to wake up from the kitchen.”

“Oh, I knew- Wait a minute! What do you mean vampires don’t exist? Why wouldn’t they exist?”

-THE END-

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos make me a happy writer. Let me know what you thought? 
> 
> **If you enjoyed this, here's some other fics that may also bring you joy:**
> 
>   * [Through A New Lens: A Spectacular Love Story](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26255149) by christinefromsherwood _\- 10k, E-rated, getting together 00q, post-SPECTRE fix it, Q is fine with things being the way they are, only then he sees Bond wearing reading glasses and fuuuuuUUUUck_
>   * [A Brief Encounter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27077413) by christinefromsherwood, soufflegirl91 _\- 5k, and then they were neighbours!, and went on their perfect first date, nothing can spoil the perfect evenings, nothing 👀_
>   * [Holding Out For A Hero](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23425648) by christinefromsherwood, soufflegirl91 _\- 3k, James Bond gets the most baffling mission briefing of his career, but is everything the way it seems muahahaha, fluff and humour, naturally_
>   * [Infinitely Potato](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25544812) by christinefromsherwood _\- 1.5k, established 00Q, Q doesn't drink very often. But whenever he gets a little past tipsy, it's always an experience._
>   * [In A Cat's Eye](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25203829) by christinefromsherwood _\- 2k, cat POV, Q and Bond are together and Q's cat has Opinions about that, and also a plan._
>   * [Make Marmalade (When Life Gives You Lemons)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25458352) by christinefromsherwood _\- 2k, established 00q, emotional rollercoaster with a very happy ending, they argue about a jar of marmalade_
> 



End file.
